A Malaysian man recently opened up about a painful chapter in his life, sharing how an expensive and emotionally draining experience taught him one of the toughest lessons about love and self-worth.
Photo via Northern Vietnam
He revealed that for a long time, he believed that love could be earned through effort, gestures and spending generously. But after going through it himself, he now feels that if someone needs to push harder, spend more or constantly try to prove their worth just to be noticed, then it may not be real love at all. At best, he said, the woman may simply feel guilty for the time, energy and money he poured in.
One moment that opened his eyes came from a colleague who admitted she stayed with her boyfriend not because she truly loved him, but because he treats her well.
The man then shared his own story:
Over just two months, he spent more than RM10,000 trying to win the heart of a woman he genuinely liked. Despite all his efforts, another man, better looking according to him, entered the picture and won her heart in just a week. After two months of trying, he did not even get the chance to hold her hand.
Although the heartbreak was heavy, what followed became the turning point.
Instead of giving up on love entirely, he decided to stop chasing after women and start rebuilding himself. He joined the gym, focused on improving his appearance, and began treating himself with the same care and attention he used to reserve for others. New clothes, small gifts, better grooming, and anything that made him feel confident again became part of his routine.
As he put it, hit the gym, love yourself, and women will come to you.
With this new mindset, something unexpected happened. A woman eventually approached him first, showing genuine interest without him having to chase. Through this, he realised a valuable truth. When you stop searching for validation and learn to value yourself, you naturally become more attractive to others.
这个时代，男生追女生真的越来越不容易了。 我想奉劝各位兄弟：别再死命去追女生了，大多数都没有结果。 与其拼命去取悦别人，不如花时间提升自己，等待属于自己的缘分。 我以前也是个“舔狗”，追女生的时候掏心掏肺、花钱又花力气。 但后来我才明白：...
Posted by XUAN on Friday 14 November 2025
In his own words, a woman who wants you will come looking for you in a wedding gown.
His story serves as a reminder that love should never drain you or make you feel lesser. Build yourself, grow at your own pace and stay true to who you are. The right people will walk into your life, not because you chased them, but because you became someone worth finding.
