A Malaysian man recently turned to the internet for help with a painful decision: should he break up with his girlfriend of more than seven years? The dilemma isn’t about falling out of love or a major fight—it’s about feeling unappreciated, despite having given so much.
Photo via Wise
Posting anonymously on the XUAN Facebook page, he shared that he has been financially supporting most of their relationship. From paying for every date—including petrol and parking—to giving her money as gifts on special occasions, he said he has done it all.
Instead of buying her physical presents, he prefers transferring money into her account so she can buy what she likes. For birthdays alone, he sends RM1,200 or more, and increases the amount every year. Beyond that, he has also “lent” her money—RM1,600 to dye her hair at a premium salon and RM3,000 for a professional course—but none of it has been paid back.
Despite this, she recently began calling him stingy.
According to him, she compared him to her friends' husbands, who regularly buy them luxury handbags. She said she feels left out because she doesn’t receive branded bags worth RM5,000 to RM15,000 like the others do. Even when he explained that his budget only allows for gifts around RM1,500 to RM2,500, she wasn’t satisfied.
It didn’t stop there. When they discussed travelling together, he offered to cover half of her expenses. Rather than being understanding, she told him it meant he didn’t love her enough—and would rather not spend anything herself. This led to a “cold war,” where she stopped replying to his messages altogether.
He admitted the relationship has a long history—they were high school sweethearts, endured the ups and downs of growing up together, and even went through the pandemic side by side. Still, he’s starting to feel emotionally drained.
“I don’t want to end it,” he wrote. “But I’m just so tired.”
Many commenters urged him to move on, with some pointing out that the relationship now feels more transactional than romantic. Some even compared her expectations to that of a “sugar baby” and said he deserves someone who values him for more than just what he can give financially.
我来自马六甲，是一名90后，有一个交往了超过7年的女朋友。 这7年多来，约会几乎都是我全程负责付款，包括油费、停车费等等。重要的节日——像纪念日、情人节、生日、新年前夕，我也都会送礼。我的送礼方式，是直接把钱汇到她的银行户口，让她自己挑喜...
Posted by XUAN on Wednesday 11 June 2025
But relationships are never easy, especially when emotions and memories are involved.
So, what would you do if you were in his shoes?
